Have you heard of the word ‘fexting’? Can you guess what the word “fexting” means?
Fexting was first coined by First Lady Jill Biden as her and President Joe Biden would occasionally fight over text to avoid the unnecessary attention from security guards or personnels.
While it is not a widely recognized term, it can be inferred that “fexting” is a portmanteau of “texting” and “fighting.” Therefore, it likely refers to engaging in heated or argumentative exchanges through text messages. The term suggests a negative or confrontational tone in text conversations, often involving disagreements or conflicts between individuals.
Why it is easy to get into “fexting?
As easy as it is to fight over text and avoid face-to-face conflict, it can cause more problems.
It is very common for couples to fight over text since the world has become very digitized. When a couple struggles with communication, they often become trapped in a negative cycle, going in circles. Texting appears easy as it allows formulating thoughts without partner interruptions.
However, texting does not let you see your partner’s cues and body language. You might receive different feedback over text as your partner might miss valuable information. The main con of fexting is it causes misinterpretation of tone. For example, your partner texts you, “Please take out the garbage,” or “Please don’t forget to buy eggs.” There is a probability that you might perceive it as a taunt because you are forgetful. But your partner texted you as a friendly reminder and not in a rude way. It is very easy to misinterpret the tone of the text.
Here are some tips to avoid fexting in your relationships. They can guide you to have those more meaningful conversations.
You can use emojis when texting for the other person to know the tone of the message.
Using emojis in text messages can help convey the intended tone of your message, as misinterpreting or lacking emotional context are common issues with written words. Emojis provide visual cues that can indicate humor, sarcasm, excitement, or other emotions, helping the recipient better understand the sentiment behind your words. For example, a smiling face emoji can indicate a light-hearted or friendly tone, while a thumbs-up emoji can express agreement or approval. By incorporating emojis strategically, you can enhance the clarity of your message and reduce the chances of misunderstandings or misinterpretations in text-based conversations.
Talk about serious issues over call or in person.
When it comes to discussing serious or important matters, it is best to have a conversation over a phone call or in person rather than relying solely on text messages. Texting can often lead to misunderstandings or miscommunication, as it lacks the nuances of vocal tone, facial expressions, and body language.
Having a direct conversation ensures clear and accurate delivery of your message and allows both parties to fully express themselves. This allows for a deeper level of understanding and reduces the likelihood of misinterpretation or unintended offense. Additionally, real-time communication allows for immediate clarification and the opportunity to address any concerns or questions that may arise during the conversation.
Try avoid using sentences that sound like you are blaming the other person.
When communicating through text messages, it’s important to be mindful of the language you use to avoid sounding accusatory or blaming. Instead of using sentences that point fingers or assign blame, focus on expressing your feelings and concerns using “I” statements. This approach allows you to take ownership of your emotions and promotes a more constructive and empathetic conversation. By avoiding blame, you create a safer and more open environment for dialogue, where both parties can express their perspectives without feeling attacked or defensive. Remember to choose your words carefully, emphasizing understanding, empathy, and finding solutions rather than placing blame on the other person. This helps to maintain a healthier and more effective communication dynamic.
Considering all this
Texting is a convenient way to exchange information, but it has its limitations. When clients have breakthroughs or profound insights during therapy sessions, sharing them through text diminishes the impact. The power of the experience lies in the ability to look into your partner’s eyes, connect on a deeper level, and convey those significant moments. Face-to-face connection amplifies the emotional connection and creates a shared experience that text messages alone cannot replicate.
It’s understandable that in situations where conflicts become damaging, some may opt for fexting as an alternative. However, it’s important to recognize that the true benefits of therapy and communication come from genuine face-to-face interaction. If you find yourself stuck or struggling, reaching out to a therapist can provide invaluable support and guidance.