Reaching out for help as a couple can be scary, and for many couples, this may be the hardest step to take. It’s completely normal to feel anxious, uncertain or just curious about what couples therapy might offer. The important thing to remember is that you’re not alone; many couples feel the same when they begin this journey.
Knowing what to expect can make the process feel less intimidating and more manageable. Here’s a breakdown of what typically happens in the early stages of couples therapy.
Meet and greet call:
Sometimes called a consultation or meet and greet, an initial conversation with the therapist is usually scheduled as a 15-minute session. This will give you and the therapist the opportunity to see if you are a good fit. Did you like them? Will you be able to connect and share with them?
During this informal call, the therapist will briefly explain their approach, and they might ask you:
- What is going on in your life right now?
- Why are you looking for therapy?
- What are your goals for therapy?
You will take this time to assess how you feel speaking with them. You can ask yourself:
- Do I feel comfortable talking to this person?
- Do they seem warm, open and non-judgmental?
- Do I feel like I could eventually trust them?
Questions you can ask the therapist:
- What is expected of us during the sessions?
- What type of therapy do you practice (e.g. emotion-focused couples therapy), and what does that mean?
- How long do you think therapy might last for couples with our goals?
- Will there be individual sessions?
You likely will still feel nervous and uneasy, but this step should help you understand what to expect in future sessions.
Pre-session Paperwork
Before your first session, your therapist will send both partners some forms or paperwork to fill out. These help them prepare and ensure everything is in place for a smooth start.
Some common documents include:
- Client history form – This form may ask you details about your personal background, relationship history, mental health history, and/or significant life events. This helps the therapist begin to get to know you.
- Confidentiality form – This form explains how your information will be kept private and any exceptions that apply, for instance, if there is any risk of harm to yourself or someone else and mandatory reporting of abuse. If your therapist is a qualifying psychotherapist under the supervision of a supervisor, this will be explained as well.
- Payment forms – Completing these will make future payments easier and reduce the time spent on this process each session.
- Cancellation policies – Again, to reduce the admin time, policies are explained to ensure you know what to expect and how to handle instances that may affect your appointment.
Be sure to complete these forms as honestly and thoroughly as possible. This allows your therapist to start your sessions with a better understanding of your needs and history.
Your First Session
Your first session is about building the foundation for your therapeutic journey. Don’t worry about jumping into deep issues right away. Your therapist will begin the first few sessions by really getting to know you and what brought you to therapy, and this allows you the time to get used to the process
Your therapist may ask questions like:
- What brings you to therapy?
- What is your relationship story?
- What are your conflict and repair styles?
- What are your strengths as a couple?
- What is your hope for therapy?
These questions may feel very personal, but they help the therapist tailor their approach to you and your situation. Be open with your therapist; if anything feels too overwhelming, let them know!
What Is Expected of You:
Therapy is a collaborative process. Your therapist is there to support you and walk alongside you, but your engagement matters too. You can expect to:
- Be open and honest, even when uncomfortable
- No secrets!
- Show up consistently for your sessions
- Be willing to reflect and explore difficult emotions or situations
- Sometimes you will be given homework to do between sessions
Starting couples therapy is a brave and meaningful step towards your healing and growth both individually and together. It is normal to feel anxious or uncertain in the beginning, but remember your therapist is there to walk alongside you and not to judge you. Over time, therapy can become a space where you each feel truly seen, heard, and understood.
If you’re struggling to rebuild authentic connection, seeking help from a therapist can be beneficial. The therapists at Couples Counselling Centre are available to guide you through the process of reconnecting and creating a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. Click HERE to book a free consult.
